Running Your Own Race

Ladies and gentlemen. I did a thing and a bad thing that I would highly not recommend unless you are mentally prepared to do so. If you would like to try it one day, do not say because of me you want to try it. Please don’t. Please don’t hold me accountable for something you desire to do because it sounded like a good idea. Just in case anybody tries this. I, Ashley Merlanie, am not responsible for anything that happens to anyone in the regards of their health if they tried to do this challenge. In the State of New York and New York City I declare being held hostage for something I tried and it did decline their health. Speak to your health providers, medical professionals because I am not the one to blame for something you want to try on your health, simply because you became a kid in a candy store while reading this and let me tell you something it was bad for me so it most likely will be bad for you too. Let’s not be bad together, please. Do not do this and take my bad advice for this. So anywho, back to this story. So for years I’ve been trying to get my health together, visit the gym regularly and watch what I eat. I got a gym membership back in 2016. Before that, I had one around the year of 2013 when I used to have an all girls gym in my neighborhood. It was DOPE!!. I loved it so much. They offered a space just for girls to come in and workout together. I went with my friends because they were into working out at the time and I had a couple things I wanted to work on in my physical body as well. We started going during that summer and fell off as the summer went on. My excuses were that it was a long walk lol and I never went back and I cant even go back cause the gym closed down. I used to have commitment issues.

It’s funny because I met my old coworker at the gym before working at the same job. BACK TO TOPIC!!. So like I said I’ve been trying to be that fit girl and have my dream body for years!!!. I just wasn’t consistent and wanted that microwavable effect. Fast, quick and easy. SO for years I would tell myself I would be healthy and choose healthy options… but I was so hungry to the point that I would crave so many foods that weren’t healthy for me. I’ve heard of people being vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, anything that’s good and healthy but hard for me to obtain because I love food. Im such a foodie person. So I catched up with an old friend that was like a brother to me. He has a plant based diet and I’m shocked because I LOVEEE steak, fried foods and wasn’t too picky about foods either. So we catch up and he tells me about his diet and I’m interested in it just mentally and felt like it was going to take a lot out of me and from me to choose this lifestyle and not choose meat, dairy and carbs products to eat from. Plus I wasn’t ready to do it because food was not my main priority. I even told my friends for years, i’m tired of food, what’s next to eat air? lol. And I’m motivated to do it and I did feel tired of food and not allowing myself to be created. 

So I did a thing, a few months later I did a thing called a 3 day cleanse diet. I did the 3 day Himalayan salt water cleanse to clean me out. I had a mango once at night and then the following day, I had a stomach ache; which  led me to feeling sick all day. Later in the evening, I decided to do the diet because I needed that cleanse even though my friend  told me that it was fine for my stomach to eat that mango that late it’s just my body or stomach did not absorb the sugar from the mango correctly so it was stored in places that cause me to feel sick. Just for me to say that made me feel bad about how bad my diet was. I was so disappointed in not being consistent with my fruits and having my body having a healthy relationship with food especially healthy foods for my body. Anywho, I did it and I felt proud of myself but did not know what was coming to me after this. With no foods for 72 days and just liquids.  I only drank Warm water with salt. The internet said I should’ve added lemon/lime but I didn’t know until I was in too deep. 

One hour into this diet, I saw the results. When I tell you, I would recommend this so you can go to the bathroom but still eat which was the reason why  I wanted to do this because I barely go to the bathroom because of stress and bad eating habits TMI .. So I did good for the first day but the only reason why  I did good was because I took a nap. When I tell you that nap did me sooooo good. It hit!. I did it at 8am went to the bathroom at 9am/10am then took that nap at like at 10ish to like 1pm cause of work. Then I kept drinking water. The day. I did not know how I conquer this because I was blind!!! Then the next day came,  i went to the bathroom but not as much cause I was empty from the morning prior to this day. The second day came heavily on me because I had the only headache and I wasn’t drinking water or how bad I had the headache plus family members who were not supportive of the journey I was on. The comments, laughs and opinions were very unnecessary for me. My last day was friday and then I could’ve eaten on saturday morning. That thursday night the headache was adding so much pressure to me because it was a big headache. I had my home girl on the phone with me while she was doing the same fast as me. She was different than me though. When I tell you she was jolly, excited, I was looking at her like sis are you okay. It looked like she was in disney world having the time of her life while i’m on my death bed.When I got up I felt dizzy and like if my surroundings were moving and I was like am I drunk? High? .  I felt like if I did not eat that night I was going to see God that night like really lol . But if it wasn’t for my friend I wouldn’t have gone as long as I did.  My friend was encouraging me to keep water, being very motivating to me and just simply being there for me while thinking I was dying. I’m on the phone with her and I’m talking about what I’m going to eat to break the fast and all the things I’ll be doing on Saturday lol . Then, I tell her well I think ima eat but I feel bad for eating and breaking my challenge. She said girl if you eat it’s all good dont let no one make the option you want to make for yourself. Do it for you not because your family wants to see you eat because you want to and it’ll make the headache go away. So moments later I decided I’ll eat. When I tell you ate. I ATE LOL. I decided that  the stomachache day was to be counted as my first day because I stopped eating around 9pm, even tho I had a soda at like 11pm and that thursday was my third day. 

As I’m thinking about this past experience, I’m like yeah… Never again am I doing something or pressuring myself to do something because someone says or does. I just felt so pressured at the time to do it and in reality I did want to do it. I need to run my own RACE and do what’s best for me. Whatever someone does with their food, it’s not a reflection of what I’m doing. In due time I enjoy foods that are good for me and just as healthy and my brain quickly activates when I need to make options for myself for my well being. The day will be here when I’m following a healthy diet according to me and not to others. Im that girl that has a healthy relationship with the gym, working out and taking care of ashley and ashley only.

So that being said, I learn the hard way, if you have any experience just like mine please do share in the comments. Thanks for supporting me! I appreciate it so much. See you on the next one toodles bye💕

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