I was very skeptical about telling this story because I did not think it was a good story to tell.However, I understand that there may be something valuable in this story that you may find for yourself. So let’s see where this story takes us. Jesus, take the wheel LOL. From past experience I don’t like getting in a car with my family.Allow me to explain, its a whole draining experience especially if my mom is the designated driver, because my mom takes her driving very seriously, which is good. I commend her for that. However, once upon a time my mom was the type of driver that wanted you to be her GPS so she didn’t have to look at the GPS herself. The GPS is there to guide you to your destination. One day, I was in the car with my sister and my mom. My sister was sitting in the passenger seat. To let you in on a secret. Sorry mom and sis but I always felt some type of way because my sister always sat in the front because I’m like I’m the oldest and I was like if a cop comes through I got my mom. I always used to take it personally. Now it doesn’t bother me because I understand why she does and it’s a win-win situation because I’m darker than my sister (sadly I have to think like this). So my mom uses my sister as a GPS because my sister knows how to read the GPS to her accommodation.
My sister carried the title of being my mothers GPS in the car ever since my mom became a driver back in 2012. My mom would go to Jersey as a new driver to take classes every weekend and she would take my sister with her. So back to the main topic. So one day my sister snapped at my mom because my mom was not being compliant. Meanwhile, my sister was distracted by the music. My mom checked in with my sister reassuring that we were heading in the right direction and my sister responded saying that we were in fact going the right direction. And for the next miles of driving, they both burst into screaming which resulted in alteraction.
My mom really needs reassurance because she doesn’t have the control at that moment to dictate her next move. Like she didn’t trust my sister on her trip because we were on our way to Boston, Massachusetts. I realize that at that moment, my mom who seems so strong, confident and everything adds up to being insecure of the unknown because she’s not confident in the GPS. There have been a couple times my mom and I disagreed for a couple years for the past year or so based on myself guiding her while driving. I would say where she really didn’t like the way I would read her the GPS because she likes a different app than I do. I like using the maps from the apple app and she likes waze. She would literally get frustrated because I didn’t read the way she understood it. Because of this I won’t get in a car and help my mom navigate her to a destination because I have preference with the apple maps app and she wants to control the passenger in using waze because she likes it and all she wants is for you to read the top part of the next exit or transition and waze tells her about cops along with traffic and accidents. One day I had to help my mom drive to New Jersey, which is not too far compared to Boston . The whole ride, she wholeheartedly gave me anxiety because during the long roads ahead, she just had to keep going straight for more than ten miles and in those moments she would ask three million times for thirty minutes what’s next and i’m like keep going straight and im like you don’t need an exit. So she gets out an exit because she thinks she familiar with it, because she didn’t trust me and as a result we got lost. She blamed it on the GPS directing us differently because we weren’t familiar with the area where we took the exit. As she drove, she kept screaming at me to direct her but I couldn’t because I was just as lost as her and she was like this is why I like your sister in the front because she understands how to read the GPS app, she went on to say that I don’t listen and I do whatever I please out of anger. At the moment my uncle keeps calling me to see if we’re okay and at one point my uncle caught her in anger and was like why are you acting like this, there is no reason why she should like this over driving. Oh my goodness I didn’t know you were like this. My uncle was surprised and was like this is not my sister and I’m laughing telling him you don’t have a clue because my mom likes to be in control of things and make sure everything goes well. In the moment that she doesn’t have the sense of control, she goes crazy.
Because of this I learned that some of us act like this because we don’t have the reassurance that everything will be okay and everything will turn out okay or even better. It makes me think all this yelling because not letting things flow. Letting things flow will let things happen eventually. I understand that we need to take control and be responsible but you let responsibilities take over your thinking and you’re gonna crash into an accident like if my mom would’ve focused too much on the gps. The more you focus on the gps the more the journey delays because you are so focused on getting there quicker that you take road blocks without realizing it especially when you don’t know where to go plus traffic that delays you. To be honest, we have to reassure ourselves and get out of the head of ourselves because we create scenarios of the wrong when everything goes right. My mom was raised to take charge in her life from a young age and to make decisions for others. She learned how to be selfless which makes her great in many things but behind the wheel she has to learn to let things flow and not think things will go wrong. When she was driving I wanted to hug her and I was reassuring her everything was going to go smoothly even if she didn’t know. She had to trust someone else to make good decisions. Driving allows you to gain trust in those around you just as much as we have to trust ourselves in driving. In driving you need either an understanding, confidence or trust whatever makes you feel safe while driving. I hope those that gain road rage or become a different person while driving or doing things that makes you nervous but still have to tackle daily tasks in order to think of the end goal in mind like driving safely to arrive at their destination. Thank you for reading, I appreciate the support . Happy thanksgiving, I’m so grateful to be a blogger that provides content that creates for you to read. Xoxo and I’ll catch you on the next blog post .
Ashley Merlanie 