Have you ever wished that a situation that occurred with something or someone had a different beginning or even worse a different ending? Like you just wish for the ending of a romantic/ non romantic relationship or even a friendship or whatever kind of ship you had in order to have the closure you think you deserved?. You would be at peace if you had one last conversation with clear communication and comprehension. Yeah me too, my friend.
Truthfully, closure is a lie. We just want to be in their presence to speak what our hearts would say to be heard and understood. As humans if we think that we had the interaction even if it was their attention we would be okay thinking they would notice us because no matter how many times you would voice your thoughts, it would go unnoticed. An ending is an ending even if it’s an unfinished ending.
Stop wasting your time with what ifs. The what ifs aren’t meant to happen because destiny came to teach us a few things based on how things ended.
Hurting us allowed us to see the bigger picture. Hurt people, hurt people. I’ve been in situations just like you; where I wanted the closure that I thought I deserved. I do deserve it but what makes it better is holding myself accountable. Holding myself accountable is not begging for another person to see and know my worth. Not wasting having conversations with the person because there are different levels of communication and I would be wasting my time and breath.
Instead of focusing on the closure. We can start looking at the new beginning in our lives. New beginnings to tell a chapter of how I want it to look and finish. The more you get into telling your new chapter, the more you distance yourself from needing closure from the situation and person. The people you think that won’t do you bad, will do you triple times worse than you thinking they won’t. The worst part of this is that they have a role where they show others one side of them which you experienced and then you see their audience side that makes you conflict with yourself because of how good they portray that role.The hope that you have thinking you will get something out of the closure is you controlling the idea that you have of them. What works best is distance. Distance becomes part of your past. Telling your own story and ending it with my own happily ever after story. Create a life where you create your own reality. Closure is a lie, scam and myth to make ourselves feel better about the situation. Closure keeps us stagnant thinking the day will come to speak up our truth but the day will never come. Most of the time, disrespect is closure, no response is closure, knowing your worth is closure, giving the person in the mirror what was the closure they desire, which was one last kiss, hug, conversation or one last hang out. This one may hurt but no one is obligated to give you what you want, not even an explanation cause they wholeheartedly believe in their answer even if it’s wrong. It’s not your job to figure out why someone doesn’t love you, you aren’t their therapist. Moving forward with the fact your love for yourself is enough. I’m not saying you can’t feel those emotions, it’s just not worth spending time trying to figure out the ending of the story and trying to rewrite it when there was a period by the other narrator. Remove yourself physically just as much emotionally and mentally to the best of your ability. Because this is a reflection of emotional abuse that they have done to you. When you do move on, you’ll be able to see that you’re not worth the pain that you keep yourself hostage from staying at a place because of closure and you’ll find the strength to move forward for yourself.
If they come back just remember that you gave yourself closure and you don’t need to be wasting an explanation just as much as they did not give you one before leaving you behind. Some people are allowed to talk at the end of a relationship as mature adults but some don’t. It’s not okay to be left like that but it is okay to move forward, give yourself closure and move forward. You can wish them the best and much more. You just need to be in the position of knowing you deserve better. You don’t beg someone to be part of their life because people come and go. You just need to understand the chapter of them in your life that was learned. The only closure needed is for realtors to close houses and usually they move forward on those that don’t want to buy and see the worth of something willing to pay the price for the house. Thank you for reading, I appreciate your support so much. XOXO.
Ashley Merlanie 